Good to You: How to Build Relationships at Work With Kindness

6-minute read

Positive relationships are an essential building block to sustaining a thriving workplace, and kindness is the foundation on which that environment can be constructed. 

Sometimes, though, it’s hard to know exactly how to build relationships at work in a long-lasting, meaningful way. 

Fortunately, there are a number of practical ways that anyone can use to quickly strengthen workplace relationships through the power of kindness. All it takes is for coworkers to embrace kindness as a meaningful part of their workday, and soon enough trust, respect, and productivity will flourish.

Building Relationships at Work is Vital

MJ Shaar is a well-known Keynote Speaker and Corporate Trainer on how to improve mental and physical health to make workforces more engaged and more productive. MJ has worked alongside businesses of all shapes and sizes in 10 countries and four continents, from government institutions and wellness organizations to colleges and universities. 

MJ uses science-based, easy-to-apply strategies that can be used at all levels of an organization to reset the course of everyone’s engagement and satisfaction in the workplace.

MJ recently talked with us about how a little kindness can help your colleagues feel more energized and engaged.

“Research shows that good work relationships give rise to the psychological safety that we need to be innovative,” MJ said. “We need that psychological safety to explore boldly, brainstorm with confidence and to express ideas that may be out of the box.”

Why Acts of Kindness for Coworkers Matter

Of course, kindness is more than just being “nice” — it’s a conscious effort to show colleagues empathy, understanding, and support. “Research shows that we have on average nine opportunities for compassion each day,” MJ said. “This is how many chances we have to see that someone needs a little boost. 

“For me, nine seems like a big number! My workday is focused on kindness, and yet I don’t see nine opportunities in my day to day — but that doesn’t mean they’re not there. It means we need to make a conscious effort to find them.”

Here are three tangible ways that acts of kindness for coworkers benefit organizations — when we take the time to find and implement them, that is:

1. Boosting team morale: Kindness creates a positive atmosphere, making people feel valued and motivated.
2. Building trust: Genuine kindness means colleagues are more likely to trust each other, which strengthens team dynamics.
3. Reducing conflict: A culture of kindness encourages open communication and decreases the odds of misunderstandings or tensions.

Strategies for How to Build Relationships at Work

The biggest challenge to instilling a culture of workplace kindness is finding a way to make your initiatives consistent, sustainable, and authentic. 

Not sure where to start? Here are 12 recommendations for how to build relationships at work:

1. Make social connections a central feature of all well-being programs and initiatives.
2. Have representatives throughout the workforce decide on the best connection strategies. 
3. Strengthen connections with team wellness challenges where colleagues can achieve shared goals and compete against other groups and departments.
4. Make remote/hybrid team members feel just as included as onsite employees.
5. Facilitate onsite walking groups and offer a list of conversation starters that facilitate connection building.
6. Address loneliness, friendship, and belonging in communications, complete with how-tos and resources.
7. Allow a few minutes during meetings for coworkers to talk about personal wins or upcoming vacations.
8. Share ideas for cross-department events, like volunteer efforts, potluck lunches, or golf tournaments.
9. Invite local recreation and shared-interest organizations to help employees discover new groups.
10. Promote affinity groups for connections and fun outside of work, such as running groups, book clubs, or arts and crafts activities.
11. Offer mentorship resources at every level and in every department that can strengthen workplace experiences.
12. Find charity events that everyone can support by raising money and awareness.

“Research also shows that when we take a moment to think of other people as opposed to ourselves, our own problems seem to diminish a little bit,” MJ said. “That’s a helpful practice that we can use at any moment and at any time, to improve our own mental wellness. As a bonus, it can also help strengthen the bonds between people.”

Read more: Spread More Kindness Everywhere

Building a Habit of Kindness With Your Coworkers

While the recommendations listed above can foster an environment of kindness and collaboration throughout an organization, there are also simple ways individuals can start to strengthen one-on-one workplace interactions today.

Even these seemingly small efforts — like bringing coffee for a colleague or complimenting a coworker on a job well done — can create a ripple effect of positivity in your workplace:

• Leave an encouraging note
• Send a handwritten card or letter
• Admit you were wrong
• Make an introduction
• Complain less
• Listen more
• Express gratitude/appreciation
• Take a self-compassion break
• Give a small gift
• Offer to help
• Flash a sincere smile
• Hold the door
• Invite someone to join you on your lunch or break
  
  

“I have learned from Adam Grant that we only need one friend at work to effectively combat workplace loneliness. Only one,” MJ said “So the question is how do you find that one special person? I recommend we start by exploring our most meaningful relationships. 

“And by that, I mean the people that you interact with the most: the person that always smiles at you, the one you often feel energized by, the couple colleagues that you meet most often in meetings, your boss, the people that you sit closest to, and that other colleague that you tend to meet all the time on your way to lunch.”

Read more: Social Connection: Beyond Besties

Addressing Challenges with Kindness

Workplace relationships are not without their challenges, of course. Approaching tension and difficulties with kindness can lead to better long-term outcomes. Here are three ways you can approach conflicts with a coworker in a kinder manner:

• Handle difficult situations calmly: When tensions arise, take a deep breath and approach the situation with intention and mindfulness. Ask questions to understand the other person’s perspective before responding.
• Resolve conflicts with empathy: Instead of assigning blame, focus on finding a solution. For example, maybe you can say, “How do we work together to resolve this issue?”
• Maintain boundaries: Kindness doesn’t mean you have to overextend yourself. Setting clear boundaries will protect your time and energy while still being supportive with colleagues.

“A lot of people have a hard time accepting offers of kindness or compassion. We are quick to deflect, diminish or even reject them,” MJ said. “For example, when someone tells me that they like my jacket, my mind easily goes to something of the  ‘Oh, I got it on sale’ variety.

“Or if somebody is trying to offer me help or support, my typical response is, ‘Oh no, don’t trouble yourself. It’s okay. I’m fine.’ We have difficulty being gracious receivers of kindness. Our culture teaches us that it’s best to give than to receive — the problem is, if we don’t know how to receive, we make it harder for others to give.”

Read more: Creating Connection: How HES Helps People Thrive Together

We Can Show You How to Build Relationships at Work

There’s no doubt that kindness is a powerful tool for building meaningful relationships and fostering a positive and productive workplace environment. We created Good Nurtured to help organizations practice active listening, show gratitude, offer support, and address challenges with empathy. 

Remember: you can start small by performing one kind act today—it might be the beginning of a ripple effect that transforms your team and, ultimately, your organization. Like the old quote from Clare Pooley says, “In a world where you can be anything, be kind.”